Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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