apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
