i barfeds in our rink
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
