she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
