My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
soo... how was my night?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
