You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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