i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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