Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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