Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
