Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
can u get pink eye on your cock?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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