you guys were way drunker than both of me
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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