i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
