If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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