I'm gonna have a badass scar
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
