Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I just had sex on a roof
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
