he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
