It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
