I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
