I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize