Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
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drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
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Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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