in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
