that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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