who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
In the future we'll all be gay
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize