Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
