You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
