K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize