Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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