my phone needs a breathalizer
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize