Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
