but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
