Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Randomize
