Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize