Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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