she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
