That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
