is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Randomize
