I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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