does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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