I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
