The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
