Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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