he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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