ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
