Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I think im going to throw up on grandma
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
