Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
