Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
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HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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