dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
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Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
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Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize