You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
