I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
