You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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