She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
