I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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