They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
