she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize