If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
