Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
He kissed a someone with a penis
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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