ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
