either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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