Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize