I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
