I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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