I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Dear god my vagina.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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