Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
